Review: Ho! Ho! Bah! Santa Claus Conquers

Santa Claus Kidnapped by Martians — Martians Kidnap Santa Claus, however you want to spin it, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) is one bad-tastic film. About 35 undaunted souls turned up for the screening of a film billed as "one of the worst ever made" at the Science Fiction Museum. No one dressed up as Santa or an alien (or even Santalien, the obvious choice). Still, SFM gave away a membership and some swag including blow up alien dolls. The hardcore trivia questions helped up the audience's geek factor. Knowing that the majority of Santa v. Martians was filmed on Long Island, and that the U.S Air Force footage was also used in Dr. Strangelove (1964) may have unforeseen benefits. The holiday show was part of SFM's Exposed: Inside Film series, which usually provides insights into cult classics by bringing actors, directors, and screenwriters in to talk about their films. But not this night! Instead, five members of Jet City Improv guest starred, MST3K-ing the film (with synthesizer). This is definitely the way to see this film.

And you can! Twisted Flicks redubs the film in its entirety 8 p.m., Fri., Dec. 26 and Sat., Dec. 27 at The Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way NE, Seattle.

At SFM, however, the improv team abandoned the audience to the original film after 15 minutes — and started it over. Let's pretend that the sound remained off. Highlights of bad-tasticness include the polar bear, Torg the robot (an anagram for Gort the robot from *The Day the Earth Stood Still ((Knew that trivia'd come in handy!)) and the stun gun. OMG, the stun gunned elves! Also, what's the word for actors jerking around to simulate spaceship movement in defiance of physics ala Star Trek? There were some primo examples of that. All in all, this was a creepy film. Shoulda had that Martian Milk at the Revolution Bar & Grill before the show. Always have the specialty drink. There's a reason for 'em.

"Thank you Santa Claus for bringing happiness to the children of Mars!" Thank you SFM for the free show. It was weird, as advertised. The hearty audience stayed to applaud the end.

*The Day the Earth Stood Still remake is showing on IMAX at the Pacific Science Center.